Tip Top Grill

An Aerial View of Tip Top that I did not capture. Enjoy.

You’ve never seen a more niche locale. Tip Top Grill is literally a reconfigured mini gas station on a cliff. Past their fancy black gothic fence is a rocky death slope. But right behind it is an affordable and cool local American diner. You know how it goes. Or you’re about to, at least.

Atmosphere:

Imagine an old-school college dorm for 2. That’s the space. The division between worker and consumer is a high, tiled bar where the workers are probably grillin’ it up. I dunno, I’ve never been back there, but the cooks make convincing burger-flip motions. There is a freezer with local business stickers all over it, which establishes them as a local locale. Above the bar is 2 feet of space to see their operations then a big menu sign. It is readable from outside, helpful thanks to the limited space inside. Against the right wall in the back is probably a french fry frier. French frier? Again, never seen it. All I know is big sacks of frozen fries get poured into that general region, sizzling occurs, and delicious fries come out. Vintage Coke decorations cover the walls, and the old-gas-station vibe is made obvious by that stereotypical gas station roof outside. Also an old sign that just says the words FULL SERVICE, UNLEADED, and SUPER.

Fun Fact: the guy who invented leaded gasoline in the 1920s was responding to demand from engine manufacturers who wanted to make the engine run less clunkily. Adding lead allowed engines to burn gasoline without engine knock, as well as boosting fuel efficiency. Unfortunately burning mass amounts of lead led to 5x increases in the atmospheric content of lead, causing premature deaths and literally a dumbed-down worldwide population. +5 miles per gallon isn’t worth a 5 point drop in IQ, kids.

Outside are picnic tables with condiments, and inside is a side wing of chairs and tables with views outside. Once I had to miss receiving a reading award because I had also won a Tip Top meal with my 1st grade teacher. It was a tasty Bacon Cheeseburger, but not worth being passed over for the top reader award. And I had to read a lot of Dick and Jane for that prize too :(.

Actual Food:

Tip Top is limited in what it serves. Burgers, fries, hot dogs, perfect. Anything more off the menu, I haven’t tried so I guess I can’t give an accurate review. But I have seen “Bluff Park Beignets” and I’m curious. Normal Beignets are flash fried puff pastry coated with a pyramid of confectioner's sugar, sold in Cafe du Monde in ‘Nawlins, and these sound pretty good too (think fresh, hot Krispy Kreme Donuts). Burgers are flavorful and never soggy, despite having the full enchilada (only figuratively. They can only make American food). Tomato, lettuce, bacon if you have two quarters to space, cheese slices for a dollar. Good burgers. Fries, as addressed earlier, are magnificent and my favorite. Once I was craving some as I returned from school, coincidentally near when they closed, and I ordered a bag and they gave me a whole batch. Just clearing it out I guess. Their fries, though frozen, have a crispy coating of extra flavor. It’s magnificent and indescribable, just try it yourself.

Ketchup intermediary: I dislike it on fries. It drowns their flavor in favor of the ketchup’s tangy tomato-ness. It makes all fries taste like their texture instead of allowing you to really enjoy the fries by themselves. If you have bad fries, by all means. Go ahead, no judgement. If you really want to experience these spuds you need to pass on the tomato smoothie.

Hot dogs are hot dogs, I guess. Not my favorite thing, finishable in ~4 bites, contains relish and sometimes chili and ketchup. And a bun. Buns are good on hot dogs. I really enjoy chili on my hot dog. Adds some real meat if you know what I’m saying. Hot dogs are wieners but everybody knows 50% of the mass of a hot dog is some pig buttholes, which I don’t really count as real meat. So chili adds flavor and ethos to a hotdog

Rating:

13/14 invisible french friers. A gloriously wholesome local fast food restaurant whose food leaves you on edge because It’s Delicious. But the workers always look pissed so -1.